A wedding costs money. Even if you don’t have a party in the most luxurious restaurant, it’s expensive. Many people are tempted to use outside help to cut costs, but is it worth it? We interviewed subscribers to find out their opinion on who pays for the wedding, and also analyzed the pros and cons of each option and are ready to make a verdict. Let’s tell!
Who pays for the wedding – the opinion of the Wedding Blog subscribers
On social media, we asked who should pay for the wedding? The answers to the choice: young people themselves, their parents, or someone who has money. The majority of subscribers confidently chose funding by the youngest themselves, but the second place, unexpectedly for us, was the option “the one who has the money”. The parents’ payment for the wedding turned out to be completely unpopular. Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of each option.
Option 1 – the young themselves
For many, this is a logical scenario, because since two are ripe to start a family, then it would be nice for them to pay for the holiday on the occasion of its foundation. If there is not enough money for a dream holiday, then it is worth moderating requests and making it more modest – this approach will be useful in the future life together. In this case, the question of who pays for the wedding is not even raised.
- Independence. You do not need to invite relatives whom you saw for the first and last time when you were a baby in a stroller. You don’t have to take into account anyone’s opinion when choosing a restaurant or a wedding dress. You do everything the way you want.
- The first plus is so heavy that it would be worth finishing on it, but there is one more. A wedding is the first big test for the family budget, it is training you and the groom to solve financial problems together and find compromises that suit both.
- If you have not yet managed to make a small fortune, then you and your fiance do not have much money, so the holiday will not turn out as luxurious as you dreamed. Help from your parents would allow you to do things that the two of you don’t have enough money for (for example, choosing a fancy restaurant or inviting better artists).
If you want to pay for the celebration yourself, and your parents are offended, invite them to give money on your wedding day. This will help you quickly save up for important purchases (car, furniture, apartment).
Option 2 – the parents of the bride and groom
Until now, in many families, when asked who pays for the wedding, the answer is – parents, who else! Some dads and moms do not understand what is different and will be offended if you do not let them help. Parents’ funds are especially important when organizing weddings worth several million, often you cannot do with your own money. In addition, there are situations (for example, pregnancy) when there is simply no time for organizing a holiday and saving money for it.
- In most cases, when the parents of the bride and groom pay for the party, the celebration is more luxurious, since the budget is usually higher.
- You will save the saved money for a honeymoon trip or large purchases (car, apartment)
- You will have to consider the opinion of the parents when organizing, even if they asked to decide everything for themselves. It will be psychologically challenging to do something that you know some of your parents may not like because they are funding the event.
- If dad and mom on both sides are more or less actively involved in planning, conflicts of interest are possible, and not only the opinion of the groom, but also the parents will have to be taken into account. Stakeholder requirements can be opposed, and balancing is difficult.
At the very beginning, agree on which parent pays for what, on what issues you are ready to consult with them, and on which you will make decisions on your own. This will help avoid many conflicts.
Option 3 – the parents of the groom or bride
Sometimes it is immediately decided who pays for the wedding – the parents of one of the parties, the groom or the bride. This usually happens if:
- Parents, for example, of the groom are better off and can easily cover the costs of organizing a holiday.
- From the side, for example, only the parents will be the bride, and from the side of the groom – several dozen guests. In this case, it is decided that the costs are borne by the parents from the side that invites more people.
We will not dwell on this option in detail, just say that this is one of the worst ways. It turns out that the financial responsibility for the wedding rests with one or two parents, while their opinion becomes the main one. For the parents of the other side, this will turn out to be an offensive situation, so we would advise considering this option only as a last resort.
Option 4 – groom or bride
Rarely, but it happens that the costs of organizing an event are borne by the groom or the bride. This is usually due to the difference in the income of the young.
- You are still independent of your parents’ opinion and make decisions on your own.
- One person is responsible for all the financial needs of the wedding, and this can be risky if the source of income suddenly disappears (for example, when you lose your job).
- The payer may be tempted to speak the final word in an argument without trying to come up with a solution that works for both. In this case, the other side will feel disadvantaged, and this is not the best option for starting a family life.
Agree on which aspects of the wedding are important to each of you and which are not. So you decide where it is better to give in to your partner in an argument or, conversely, insist on your own.
Option 5 – take a loan
Who pays for the wedding? Bank! Yes, it also happens, a couple takes a loan to arrange a holiday that they have always dreamed of. This position can be understood, because most people get married once in a lifetime. At the same time, we do not advise anyone to start family life with debt. Believe me, a wedding is only one day, albeit an important one, and you will live together for many, many years (some of them are paying off the loan). Do not take a loan for a holiday, it is better to sign at the registry office, and postpone the celebration for a while in order to raise money for it.
The Wedding Blog team is convinced that independence is more important than a Vera Wang dress or a luxury event worthy of publication in a glossy magazine. Therefore, to the question “Who pays for the wedding?” we answer like this – the bride and groom. Have a holiday that you can afford, even if it is modest. Do not borrow, do not start a family with other people’s funds, do everything yourself. You will be calm and proud of yourself, you will see. And ask the guests to donate money, this will cover part of the costs. We wish you successful preparation!